Dear dear Lily,
I am writing to you today to ask you to stop flicking at me as I am walking around the house. I am glad that you have reduce your advances as time has passed but occasionally you try and test my dominance. How many times do you enjoy getting pawned and being shown that I, the Great King Pastel, am indeed the top of our social order.
When you first got here was I not gracious, we did not fight and your adaptation into my kingdom was smooth. You were fed and groomed by my gigantic servants and I even let you sleep in my usual sleeping spots. Yet you attempt to gain dominance. Tsk tsk, thus you had to be thought your place.
I do know on some occasions you were playing, but when you bite me, I let it slide, but if I begin to nibble back, you start whining and calling for help. How the heck is that suppose to make me look when you have to be ‘rescued’ all the time. Just because you are small and fluffy, it doesn’t mean you have any advantage over me to escape in the middle of playing and/or me showing you who is boss. Whats more you don’t deserve more treats because you were ‘upset’ about being dominated.
Need I remind you, it is always you initiating all this play. Here is photographic evidence of you getting down in front of me and flicking at me.
Sigh as you can see, I am not thoroughly amuse. It is not that I do not enjoy playing with you Lily. The issue here that you want to make me look bad in front of the humans and you are shameless about your looks.
Let us continue living happily, and also thank you for becoming my new personal poop burier. I now have no need to care and potentially dirty my paws after I am done defecating.
The Great King Pastel
P.S. No matter what you think, Spring is not a funny looking cat, she is a dog.